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The editors at Masters in Teaching Degrees decided to research the topic of
Year of the Tiger Mom: Are You Racist for Reading This?
Tiger Mom - a very strict mother who makes her children work exceptionally hard and restricts their free time so that they continually achieve the highest grades: Usually associated with Asian-Americans.
Tiger Moms stole the spotlight in 2011 when Amy Chua, a Chinese-American mother, published the book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother
- The book told many stories of how Chua raised her two daughters under a "traditional Chinese" method
- Her extreme parenting style enraged many readers
- Her parenting methods included
- forced music practice every day
- restrictions on extracurricular activities
- bans on many social events
- punishment and shaming
- Anecdotes include
- rejecting the plain birthday card her daughter made for her
- calling her oldest daughter garbage
In 2013, Kim Wong Keltner reopened the issue by publishing Tiger Babies Strike Back
- Described
- the struggle of being raised under the strict parenting model
- the harmful effects that perfectionistic parenting can have on children
Facts
- Strict parenting is common in many Chinese immigrant families, but not all Asian-Americans practice it
- "Tiger Mom" can refer to moms, dads, grandparents or any other guardian
- "Tiger Mom" can also refer to western parents who exercise strict parenting styles
Characteristics of Tiger Moms
- They make too many rules
- They make threats that are over the top
- Chua describes how she threatened to burn all of her daughter's stuffed animals if she didn't perfect a piano piece
- They give conditional love or make it sound that way
- "I love you, but..."
- They lack a verbal filter
- Their kid is all work and no play
- Tiger babies are forced to sacrifice social time and relaxation time for learning time
- They believe the rules are the rules, no questions asked
- They are authoritarian, not authoritative
- Authoritative parents lay out boundaries and expect their kids to stay within them.
- Authoritarian parents dictate everything the child does
The Harm
Shaming
- Shaming is a main part of Chinese-style parenting
- It is used to teach children right from wrong
- Children are socialized to be conscious of what others think of them
- They're expected to act in a way that gains the most approval
- Shaming damages self-esteem
Tiger parenting perpetuates the "model minority" stereotype, which gives children an added expectation to live up to.
A decade-long study (published in 2013) of 300 Asian-American families found that this kind of parenting had detrimental effects on children.
The study found that:
- Suicide is the second leading cause of death among Asian-American women ages 15-24
- These women, along with Asian-Americans over 65, have the highest female suicide rates across all racial and ethnic groups
- Asian-American girls grades 5-12 show the highest rates of depression across both race/ethnicity and gender
- "Model minority" expectations and family pressures are often cited as factors of suicide
- Tiger moms produced children who experienced:
- Feelings of alienation from their parents
- More symptoms of depression
- Lower GPA's, despite higher academic pressure
A 2012 study at a competitive US high school found similar results
- It also showed that a cultural gap contributes to family struggles
- US culture values individuality and standing up for one's self
- Chinese culture values respecting parents and doing as one's told
The Benefit
Children raised by tiger parents can go on to be very successful
- (A Pew Research Center study shows that)
- Asian-Americans are the leading group in percentage with a Bachelor's degree or higher
- 49%, as of 2010
- (21% higher than the US population as a whole)
- Asian-Americans are the leaders in median household income
- $66,000/year, as of 2010
- ($16,200 more than the US population as a whole)
Some children raised by tiger parents see their efforts as expressions of love
- This is not as much emotional damage to the child
- Tiger babies may be more disciplined
- Learning more at an early age gives them an advantage when they get to college or the workforce
- Chua describes tiger parenting not as telling children what they should be, but pushing them to realize their full potential
Sources
- http://www.cnn.com/2013/05/17/opinion/liu-tiger-parents
- http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2013/05/_tiger_mom_study_shows_the_parenting_method_doesn_t_work.html
- http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/04/sympathy-for-the-tiger-moms/308399/
- http://www.parents.com/blogs/red-hot-parenting/2012/02/22/health/evaluating-tiger-mom-parenting-whats-the-take-home-message-from-research/
- http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/16-signs-youre-too-strict-with-kids
- http://www.care2.com/causes/the-sad-truth-about-the-tiger-mother.html
- http://www.livescience.com/18023-tiger-parenting-tough-kids.html
- http://family.jrank.org/pages/1258/Parenting-Styles-Cultural-Differences-in-Guilt-Shame.html
- http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2012/06/19/the-rise-of-asian-americans/
